A while ago, my niece and I spoke about how Tamil cinema encourages stalking and this manifests in society as crimes against women. She said, based on what she had seen so far, Rajinikanth also does this. My initial reaction was to dismiss it as an idealistic youngster’s opinion. My response was that it was lighthearted on-screen fun and surely if it was such a major influence, this would reflect in the society we live in?

Today, I’m not so sure my argument holds good. We’ve had so many acid attack cases that ruined a young girl’s life only because a man’s advances were rejected. I doubt that men are so vulnerable that they can’t take a little rejection, but I wonder if symbols of pop culture – our film industry and television serials – play with our insecurities and fear of rejection? Is it because they show that when a woman says ‘No’, she actually means, ‘woo me a little more and I’ll agree’.

Some of my favourite movies and songs have the man in hot pursuit of the woman, wooing her, following her, stalking her. See what I did here – just increased it be a few degrees and wooing becomes stalking.

So before I give you a few examples, let’s first define what I take objection to. In my mind there’s a clear difference between wooing and stalking – the aspect of the woman’s consent or verbal encouragement.

Hero of movie. Pursues woman. Doesn’t stop when she asks him to lay off. Ups the ante by trying to convince those around her. Follows her. Slashes his wrist or writes a letter in blood to convince her of his love. Turns up at her place of study/work/temple. If she is in love with someone, that person is portrayed as a bad guy compared to said stalker. Gets the girl in the end or it ends tragically for the woman. This is bad enough, now add the aspect of the guy touching her. And then there are conversations or worse, songs portraying women as fickle, usually sung under the influence of alcohol among friends who dance in perfect sync to the beat. This behaviour, contrary to what filmmakers would like us to believe, is not pure, passionate and selfless. Offscreen it has a different name – criminal stalking.

Now if a woman stalks a man, especially in a Tamil movie, she is represented as manipulative, obsessive and this in some weird logic, makes the hero come across as a cross between virile and vulnerable male whom women would cross the line of ‘decency’ to lust after. A ‘passionate’ obsessive persuant male is a Krishna but the same qualities make a woman Surpanakha.

Anjaam
Darr
Tere Naam

TAMIL
Sethu
Kadhal Konden

Examples
– Mana Janab ne pukara nahin
– Mere man ki ganga
– Koi hasina jab rooth

Rockstar
Ranjhana
Deewana Mujhsa Nahin
Rrajkumar
Rowdy Rathore
Annayum Rasoolum

Soup Songs in tamil cinema
–

So let’s take the big heros and see if they’ve stalked on screen.

Rajinikanth – Sivaji

Woman stalking Man
Pyar Tune Kya Kiya
Aashiq
Aiyaa

Movies that did this well
Njaaan

The boundary between wooing and stalking is very thin. As is the boundary between screen and real life.